Unconditional Community: Self Actualization

Have you ever been so welcomed into a community that you're taken off guard? This is what's happened to me over and over again for the past two months. I've been on the road, going from place to place, since May. My road has been incredibly fruitful, full of gratitude, and so abundant with love. It is only the most recent community I have been welcomed into that I've realized the importance of love and safety in people.


Being robbed recently shook me up, to the point I was afraid to leave the house and go to the cafe later that day. The thing that kept me going right after it happened was the fact that I was going to be able to come home to a house full of people who loved me and would be supportive of my being. Without this community backing me, I may have been a bit more lost after the fact. People may sometimes be burdens, but are mostly only burdens when they reflect burdens that we carry with us. People are the greatest reflection of home we will ever have, and that is so sacred that we should call home our temple.

There is this thing about love I am still discovering. Unconditional love means that we have one condition, and that condition is love. Being unconditional in your love, though, doesn't mean you can let people walk all over you and still exercise that one condition of love. By letting people walk all over you you don't exercise the most important kind of love, and that is love for/to/from Self. To make love for/to/from Self completely unconditional- this is how we self actualize. 

There are many levels to self actualization. One of these, and I would say it's (so far in my life) the most important, doorways of self actualization is unconditional Self love. This love for Self is why we say 'no' to others, to respect our needs and being. This love for Self is why we heal, to release old pains we've been holding. This love for Self is why we're here, to share that love, to co-create, to be unconditional in all love by being unconditionally in love with your Self.

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When we do not have unconditional love for yourself, being in communities can be very difficult. Communities are constant mirrors of who we are. If we don't unconditionally love our self, that's going to be painfully reflected back to us with every person in the community.

Up until my yoga teacher training immersion I had never felt safe in my body. I'm still working on releasing fear that I'm going to be hurt at any given moment. Releasing pain is hard work, but it's important- for when you heal your self you heal the collective. Since I've never felt safe in my body, that was reflected to me in every community I've ever been in. Seeing pain in people you love is hard, especially when it's your own pain.

Having gratitude for the communities, that have so dutifully welcomed me as their own, was not easy at the beginning of this journey. Today, more so than ever, I have been awakened to the power of people's presence and love in our life. Home is in our own self, and it is reflected through others. The amount you love is equal to how wide open your door is in your communities. Be exactly who you are, that's how communities work. Give yourself permission to love, give yourself permission to be. We forget, often times, that we have permission to be human. Be the best human you can be by being so welcoming of yourself that you can only turn away others when they don't suit your Truth. Self actualize by being and loving you- really, that's all we can do on the road of Truth.

Enjoy your day, may light and love be in your way. Namaste.

In God We Trust, Our Biggest Ignorance.


Marriage, a ritual of expectations. It is a partner we are conditioned to think, as men and women, that we need to harness our power. As women, we are more so conditioned to this notion of finding a husband is what gives us our power. As men, there is a conditioning that somehow finding a wife makes you more powerful. I’m here to tell you I have realized my attatchement to this notion, and it’s quite frankly a load of bullshit. You are born alone, you die alone, why would you need someone in the middle of that to show you that you are you? You power comes from within, not from another person, or place, or being. It is to share Divine Love that allows us the possibility of sharing life with a partner- but before we are able to share Divine Love we must share it to ourselves.

I call Divine Love my home. It is the place of communion I find when I make myself a meal, take care for myself, and take care of others from the place of communion within my heart. To share communion with others is Unity, and to be in Union is to be in God. For God is the Womb of all beings.  Divine Love, no matter where, when, or how it is shared, is home. My ‘home’ I felt was taken from me for the longest time when my parents divorced. When divorce occurs there is no longer Union, there is no longer God.

Divorce is wide spread in so many developed countries, but especially America. The American Dream includes marriage, for we are built on Puritan beliefs. Ritual and ignorance is in our nature. To have God interpreted by the House and the Senate, but at the same time have separation of Church and State is one of the biggest conundrums we face as a country. No wonder over half of the marriages in our country end in Divorce, for what the governing of people trickles into their daily lives. The separation of Church and State is a noble idea, but we are stuck because our truest beliefs we refuse to sit down and see.

We can look at Church in this situation as two different things. If we look at the notion of Church as religion, then it is to separate organized rule books of spiritual beliefs from our law book. If we look at Church as worship then it is to separate the union of people from our law book. I ask you, which do you believe we need, and does this reflect in your daily life actions?  The first situation is to seperate outside beliefs from the laws we abide by, the latter is to seperate action from our beliefs as a country. We are always acting, and we are always believing something (even if it is untrue)- actions always come from within, and beliefs have the possibility to be influenced by others. This shows us the importance of training our strength of mind.

If you believe we are to separate organized texts of spiritual belief from our government (The Bible, The Vedas, The Quaran, etc.), then there can still be Union, there can still be God. By removing these spiritual texts though, we ask what is God because we have looked to scriptures for so long for this answer. Removing these spiritual texts has caused America great confusion. As I gain more studies in scriptures of all religions it has become very apparent to me that you will never find God in scriptures, you will only find what God has created. Every scripture I have read this far makes it obvious that to experience God is look within, to become in Union with yourself, to be in Union with others. God is in experience, not in any written language, but at the same time written language is in God.

If you believe we are to separate worship from our law book, then you are to say we are to separate ourself from our law book. There is no more Union in this situation. Even if you don’t agree that God is union (in any form), and we take away union from our law book, then we take away everything that this country was built on. For the people, by the people- if there is no union of people then we enter utter chaos... or perhaps we are already there. Union, worship, both of these are becoming lost in our daily lives as we sit in front of our computer, with our head phones in, eating alone at night in our apartments and in our office at lunch. And how is it that we still continue to wonder why our country is falling apart?

When we see someone ‘divorced’ from their self, someone who over eats, someone who smokes cigarettes, someone who acts not regarding to their greater good, we see self hatred, we see no union. This is when we have turned away from worship. It is not in the church that we turn away from worship, it is not in a family setting that we turn away, nor in school, nor in our work- we turn away from worship when we turn away from ourself. When it is said to “be the change you wish to see in the world” we need to take this literally. For the longer we resist change for our greater good, the more pain is caused, the more healing must be done, the more our children may suffer, the more karmic cycles we must heal as a human race. Stop putting blame on others and yourself.

Take a close look at how you worship today, and every day. If every act is worship, are you worshiping good, are you eating things that benefit your health, are your treating your vessel right, are you acting as you wish others would too? Sit with this for a moment. To realize the burdens you put on yourself is a heavy and hard boulder to move. Be like water, slowly erode the boulder from sight. For really, we are water, a great percent actually. Our power, our union, is within. If we do not realize this power then we act as animals, and animals cannot govern themselves but in primal needs. We are more conscious than animals, this is something most agree on. Your Self is the answer you need to engage in to be able to change this country, to change your marriage, to change your Union, to change. Be change for good, and this country will slowly fall into line as we fall into ourselves. I am not begging you to wake up, as Divine timing is my truth- but when you look within you will come to see that you are Divine, and you are time. Now, that is my Divine time, and I hope it soon becomes yours too.

The Embrace


I've been hiding for a very long time. When I was a child my teachers would get upset because they felt I was hiding behind my hair. As I got older I hid behind makeup, clothes, boys. I created an identity to be, instead of just being myself. I've hid behind an artist 'handle' for a long time too- Queen Kelia. No more hiding, no more running, no more being fearful. I am who I am, and I'm no longer apologizing for it.

As a young woman I was taught the societal standards to grow up, go to college, find a boyfriend, travel, get married, have kids, and gratefully retire. So far my adult life has drastically strayed from this path. I was an academic in high school. I took AP classes, was super involved in extra curricular, and I was doing it all to get into a good college. The things I did in high school that I liked doing- art, singing, dancing- I did because I loved them. Doing things of love is much more rewarding than doing things to get them off a checklist or to impress others. You're impressive without the checklist, trust me.


I've opened my wings to the Universe, praying that some wind will pick me up and take me to great heights. If you do what you love, someone is bound to be interested. I had fear in giving in to what I'm being shown I need to do for a long time. A call to be an artist and a healer is not an easy one. Both my parents have so far ignored this call in the majority of their adult life. The artistic side they once had is only slightly exercised. I've been training for this marathon since my mom had me finger painting at the age of three. Now, it's time to let my talent be.

In the coming weeks my online shop will open, with frequent updates. I have freelance photography shoots set up, opportunities I thought I may never get. I'm attending a dance intensive, that I'm praying opens doors. Good things are coming. Remember that, good things always follow the bad in this life. We cannot have bad without good, and vice versa. Some of the best advice I've ever gotten was to keep my darks dark and my lights light. When I was staring at my poorly drawn sketch after my teacher told me that, I thought I understood- little did I know I would keep coming back to that piece of advice almost ten years later.

We are given bad to help make us strong, to help us build girth in the way we stand, the way we walk, the way we talk. It is in the bad that we gain an understanding of who we are. It is in the good that we are allowed the space to be ourselves. So I say with great thanks that everyone reading this has seen me through the bad, but it is time for us all to embrace the good. Allow yourself in the coming weeks to breathe with ease. Remember that you are greatly important, that you're worthy of this life, that you are you. Being you is the most incredible and genuine thing you can do. Thank you all for embracing me as I am. Remember to embrace you as you too. Let go the pain and weight of others, and let your light shine through. For your true is true, and mine is too.