stories

Choosing Choices

Suppressed memories are forgotten pains. I felt I needed to write about the fear I’ve faced, the love I’ve gained, and how far I have to go. For anyone who has a pain they don’t quite understand- I hear you. I feel your pain as much as I feel mine. Remember, lovely readers, that to heal your pain is to heal the collective. Let go of you, and the human race evolves- as crazy and vague as that may sound to some, I believe it with my whole heart.

I want to start with fear. I know I’ve written about fear before, but it continues to be a big enough block in my life that I feel I must mention it again. Even if it feels as though no one is listening, I promise there’s someone out there who hears your cries, who sees you hiding, and will protect you. As individuals we all carry fear with us at some point in our lives. When fear arises remember to tell yourself that it’s okay to be afraid, but then remember to allow yourself strength. Allow yourself to let the energy flow through you, don’t hold on to that fear- when you hold fear it only grows. Let it go, as Elsa from Frozen would say. When you let fear go it can no longer control your energy, your thoughts, or your strength. You are so strong, beyond belief. Only in time, after facing your fears, will you understand. Be patient with yourself, don’t rush your healing. As always, I’m here to listen and guide you if need be. I will always be an open book for those who reach out- do not fear asking for help.

The second thing I wanted to touch on is gaining love. When you release fear, you release control, you release negative possibility. When you release fear you enter neutrality, it is then that you can allow love to spark within yourself. When you shed light on something, it becomes light. Shed light on whatever your fear used to be attached to- this is how to truly face yourself. Love is not scary. Love is you, love is your light, love is what the soul is driven on. When you enter a state of neutrality you can do one of three things- go back to fear, stay neutral, or enter positivity. It is only when you enter positivity that healing becomes possible. Enter positivity and you allow yourself detachment, which is another important step in healing. It is when we detach from our human that we can understand our human pains, new perspectives lie within.

The third thing I wanted to bring to attention is our journey, our path, our future. Yes, we all have healing to do. No, not all of us will engage in healing in this life. Our individual walk should be respected, but know that if you are already conscious of your pain then to turn away from that pain is to turn away from truth. I have a quote that’s been sticking with my brain recently: “To walk into a room full of people and go straight to an individual and start talking is a choice. To walk into that same room, hesitate, and then go to an individual and start talking is a decision. To make a decision is to choose, and therefor you are really not deciding at all.” Take the hesitation out of your life, stop trying to decide what you should do and what’s best. Just do. don’t ‘just do it’ as Nike would say, that leaves the question of what, do what? And in that question we find even more hesitation of choice. Start doing, simply come from love, come from happiness internally. Do from you, wholly.

Meraki- To do or create something with your whole self. That is my most recent challenge to anyone who follows my writing. Next time you find yourself thinking about what you’re doing, ask yourself- am I doing this because I came from happiness when I started, or because it should make me happy? In the answer lies your motivation, or lack there of. My challenge to you is to start finding your truth. Do not hesitate, and if you do hesitate then remember- your decision is still a choice. Sending love to all of you through this post. Thank you for keeping me in your heart, or in your mind- either way if you’ve gotten this far then you’re keeping me with you, and for that I am thankful. Today ask yourself “what am I choosing?” and in your answer you will find a reflection that may surprise you.

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Raina Watson