stories

The Dream Void

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Realizing your dream can be an incredible thing, or you can make it as scary as it seems. When you realize this dream it's not totally appropriate to play it safe. I have thrown myself to the wind, and there's no looking back, again. 

It used to be that I wrote my passions and dreams into the seams of unspeakable and infinite reflections of myself; painting, writing, murals, sketches, singing, dancing. Expression of passion is my favorite reflection to see of a person, for art is really just a reflection of the artist. There's a tipping point as such an intense creator where you have to decide to throw yourself in completely and give up your old ways of life, or retreat back to safety and risk retracting from adventure and reward. Do the risks outweigh the benefits?

Reality can set in, some may say. I challenge you to stray from the path that they speak of and note that you create your own reality. Success comes when you will it and work for it. Not knowing can be scary, unpredictability is something our human brain and ego try very hard to attach to constantly. Where will my next meal come from, do I have shelter, are these people safe, am I safe? All the answers are inside you to the fullest degree. You may not get to pick your starting point, but you can decide where you go from here. Your starting point now is just the view from the observer you've chosen to be in this life. Wake up, and creation is yours for the giving and receiving.

I have been homeless for almost a month now. The first three weeks I was in an Air BNB and getting my 200 hour yoga certification. I have since been liberated of so much self attachment, and fear, and traditional stability. I have stayed at strangers houses for the past few nights, all of whom have been so welcoming and loving. I found a work to live situation, a woman who needs her garden tending to and offers free room and board as payment, plus I get to eat from the garden (woah, so cool). I was worrying about finances for a while, and money refused to come. Turns out my worrying was what was causing my finance blues. Embracing that you are abundance, that you will always have abundance, has been truly liberating too. Sometimes, I even dumpster dive for food (hey America, please stop wasting literal dumpster full amounts of food on a more than weekly basis per store. no wonder we're in an epidemic of all sorts. It works out great for me and my situation, but donate it- order less- be okay with living more mindfully and not wasting). 

This is never a life I imagined (in specifics) for myself, but I always wanted the freedom to move about with little attachment to the American systems, with little attachment to the physical people and places. I practice yoga when I want, I work when I want and when suits my intentions for money coming in, I sleep when I want. I do whatever I want when I want to do it, and life is working out fantastically. 

Taking a leap of faith into the void of the unknown is scary, but once you jump out of a plane there's no going back. My parachute will open soon, but for now I'm enjoying the free fall, an experience I may never have like this again. Any support the internet would like to provide to/for me is incredibly appreciated. I'm working on book #2 right now, to be published in the near fall. Tarot and numerology readings available over the phone. Prints available for purchase in my shop. Etsy will be up and running soon too. You can do whatever you want to do in this life, you are your ultimate creator. To realize this is liberation from systematic ideas, but to jump the cliff into the void is liberation itself.

Thank you for the support, energetically, monetarily, and through your words and actions. I am forever grateful for each and every one of you. Walk freely, you're already here.