Choosing Choices

Suppressed memories are forgotten pains. I felt I needed to write about the fear I’ve faced, the love I’ve gained, and how far I have to go. For anyone who has a pain they don’t quite understand- I hear you. I feel your pain as much as I feel mine. Remember, lovely readers, that to heal your pain is to heal the collective. Let go of you, and the human race evolves- as crazy and vague as that may sound to some, I believe it with my whole heart.

I want to start with fear. I know I’ve written about fear before, but it continues to be a big enough block in my life that I feel I must mention it again. Even if it feels as though no one is listening, I promise there’s someone out there who hears your cries, who sees you hiding, and will protect you. As individuals we all carry fear with us at some point in our lives. When fear arises remember to tell yourself that it’s okay to be afraid, but then remember to allow yourself strength. Allow yourself to let the energy flow through you, don’t hold on to that fear- when you hold fear it only grows. Let it go, as Elsa from Frozen would say. When you let fear go it can no longer control your energy, your thoughts, or your strength. You are so strong, beyond belief. Only in time, after facing your fears, will you understand. Be patient with yourself, don’t rush your healing. As always, I’m here to listen and guide you if need be. I will always be an open book for those who reach out- do not fear asking for help.

The second thing I wanted to touch on is gaining love. When you release fear, you release control, you release negative possibility. When you release fear you enter neutrality, it is then that you can allow love to spark within yourself. When you shed light on something, it becomes light. Shed light on whatever your fear used to be attached to- this is how to truly face yourself. Love is not scary. Love is you, love is your light, love is what the soul is driven on. When you enter a state of neutrality you can do one of three things- go back to fear, stay neutral, or enter positivity. It is only when you enter positivity that healing becomes possible. Enter positivity and you allow yourself detachment, which is another important step in healing. It is when we detach from our human that we can understand our human pains, new perspectives lie within.

The third thing I wanted to bring to attention is our journey, our path, our future. Yes, we all have healing to do. No, not all of us will engage in healing in this life. Our individual walk should be respected, but know that if you are already conscious of your pain then to turn away from that pain is to turn away from truth. I have a quote that’s been sticking with my brain recently: “To walk into a room full of people and go straight to an individual and start talking is a choice. To walk into that same room, hesitate, and then go to an individual and start talking is a decision. To make a decision is to choose, and therefor you are really not deciding at all.” Take the hesitation out of your life, stop trying to decide what you should do and what’s best. Just do. don’t ‘just do it’ as Nike would say, that leaves the question of what, do what? And in that question we find even more hesitation of choice. Start doing, simply come from love, come from happiness internally. Do from you, wholly.

Meraki- To do or create something with your whole self. That is my most recent challenge to anyone who follows my writing. Next time you find yourself thinking about what you’re doing, ask yourself- am I doing this because I came from happiness when I started, or because it should make me happy? In the answer lies your motivation, or lack there of. My challenge to you is to start finding your truth. Do not hesitate, and if you do hesitate then remember- your decision is still a choice. Sending love to all of you through this post. Thank you for keeping me in your heart, or in your mind- either way if you’ve gotten this far then you’re keeping me with you, and for that I am thankful. Today ask yourself “what am I choosing?” and in your answer you will find a reflection that may surprise you.

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Philosophy of Art

You are art. Everything you do is art. The way you cook- art. The way you walk- art. Oh you don’t walk, you run? Art. Every breath you take in determines how you exist when you exhale- and that is art. When you take this concept and look at everything as art, including yourself, you allow yourself to start understanding the impact you make in your human form.

As an ‘artist’ is starting out, learning how to see the world around them, their work may not always be the most appealing. When I started drawing I could never make my colors match, my shapes were wonky- I wasn’t actually looking at was in front of me and translating it to paper. As I started to make more appealing outcomes, I realized I was seeing the world as it actually was. The shape of things became more apparent, my eyes literally opened wider. Everything I did before my skills developed was still considered art, still considered creation. I struggled with this concept for a long while in my adolescence. The concept of “fine” art skews people’s views on what art is.

As my painting and drawing skills grew, I could see people took more notice in my work. My teachers never said my work was better. My art is not better, my art is just different. All art is different, that’s because everything on this Earth is different- no one person, no one place, no one being is the same. Famous paintings are famous because the artist had the set of tools to create something aesthetically impressive and awesome, just as famous rappers, famous basketball players, even famous mathematicians (shoutout to Pythagorus). People have passions for different things, different aesthetics, but this does not belittle the importance of every creation known to man. When created in love potential is limitless, when created in anything other than love we set boundaries for receiving the creation beyond the boundaries inside of ourselves we still have yet to heal.

Practices ultimately give us tools to create how we please- even if that means creating results for clients at a desk job. Without practicing we can never develop these tools for creation- so then where do you draw the line and say “that is art” and “that is not art”? You don’t. The painting I did with my fingers when I was three of a monkey (that looked like a pile of shit with something that might be a yellow umbrella) is no different than the painting I did a month ago of life like nude portraits. Creation is art, and as people we create in every single moment. We are our moments, without them we are nothing- we are art.

I take pride in having multiple channels of ‘art’- I dance, I sing, I paint, I draw, I model (or just plainly exist), I sculpt, I create. This concept that everything is art is why the crazy hippies burn shit (art) in the middle of the dessert once a year- creation and destruction are both beautiful, and everything you create will eventually end. Sure, I could choose one channel of practicing and get really good at it, but where’s the fun in that? Sometimes I want to dance, sometimes I want to pick up a brush- sue me for wanting to create and show myself to the world in different forms. Having more than one passion shows a multifaceted strength and acceptance of being.

There’s this ancient concept, you’ve probably heard about it, it’s called Yin and Yang. A lot of people just see it as a balance, or that little symbol that has two tear drops (one white and one black) with the opposite dot in the center of each half. Yin and Yang is a concept most people live in their whole lives and never realize. Most simply put, Yin is before and Yang is creation fulfillment- as humans we live in a constant cycle of Yin and Yang.

When someone has a thought they’ve entered a place in between Yin and Yang, but exist in both states simultaneously as well. Yin is the concept of nothing- before creation. Yang is the concept that creation has been completed. We live before, in, and after creation constantly- the past, the present, and the future. That being said we can now see that every moment is now. With every moment being now, and creating in every moment, this is the base concept that makes every moment art. You are infinite art, and that is the most gorgeous thing I’ve thought about today.

This concept has danced in my brain for my whole life, but I’m glad that I get to share it with you now. If you’re reading this, and I ever get to draw you, I hope you understand why I tell you to sign your own portrait- because you are art. From the deepest parts of my heart, thank you for your attention to creation (especially this creation right now). Thank you for observing the beauty I’m allowing myself to step into. Thank you, for you, for being art.